| Dierks Bentley!!! |
[08 Oct 2005|12:10am] |
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"Domestic, light and cold" - Dierks |
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Okay...this was the most amazing night! Dierks Bentley is awesome and we were able to push our way to the front of the rodeo croud. I'm not going be be speaking much at all tomorrow, but that is not a problem. That totally did make my week and now it's time to gear up for the weekend. I've just got to get through practice in the morning...ah shit.
I'm still high off Dierks fun but I'm going to try and go to sleep...maybe.
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| Another LONG while |
[06 Oct 2005|10:12pm] |
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mood |
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 At least I think so... |
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Come a little closer...on repeat |
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Okay, so I know that I haven't written anything for almost a year...but whatever. I tend to spend my lack of life doing other things. But venting (good and bad) is always good so here goes.
So...apparently since coming to college I have developed really dramatic mood swings. I don't remember really having them in high school. I mean yeah I got pissed off and really happy, but lately I can go from one to the other in no time at all. At the beginning of the week I was EXTREMELY pissed off at the regatta this weekend, my coach, and rowing in general but at some point yesterday all of the pent up anger and frustration just vanished. I think that it might have gone the way of the 90 degree weather but I'm not sure. All of a sudden it was getting cool and I realized how much I had not to be upset about.
I'm going to fucking see DIERKS BENTLEY!!! tomorrow. Me and some friends are going to the Tulsa State Fair durring which there is a rodeo and after the rodeo he is proforming. I am so unbelieveably excited, you really have no idea. He was so amazing in concert when I went with Laura this Summer. The man is absolutely beautiful and "Come a Little Closer" is quite possibly the hottest song ever. But whatever, I am so excited about tomorrow night. We are going to have SO much fun! Even just going to the fair is going to be fun as I only have one class tomorrow and I'm done at 11. I really love classes in college and how little that you're actually in them.
Then Saturday one of my friends is turning 23 and we are having a bit of a party! And when I say a bit of a party, I think that we all know what that means. All of the cool people were born in October, I mean really! It is really the best month besides December (and that is only because everyone else finally joins me in celebrating Christmas). The days finally become crisp and cool. You get to break out the sweaters and jackets, which you seriously couldn't to here until today. I'm not joking when I say that it was 90 degrees yesterday. So a lot of us got ready this morning. I mean showered (yes I showered!), dressed in pretty clothes, and I even curled my hair. It felt good to pretend to be a normal person for the day and not an athlete that has two-a-day practices every day. It often doesn't make sense to shower, because I'm just going to sweat profusely in like 4 more hours anyways so why bother. But today I dressed up and it felt really good. I think it was also in part the fact that practice didn't start until 6 this morning so I got to sleep in a bit.
So...yeah...next weekend my Canadian friend Stacey is having her birthday. She is my sailing buddy with the Captain, so that should be an awesome weekend as well (Seriously...who drinks Mountain Dew strait? That's fucking crazy!!!). I cant wait to visit her this summer. I really do love Canada, as much as I ridicule it at every turn. Things are just so much more relaxed there, in every aspect of life really. Legal in Canada, Thank You...well I have been for almost 2 years in Edmonton, but I'm finally going to get some use out of it. Hells yeah, we are going to have some FUN this Summer!!
Then it is the Charles weekend and since I am more than likely not going...me and some friends are going to get together and forget that we're not going. Well, at least on Friday and then on Saturday I think I might go to my grandparents and spend my pre-birthday weekend with them. It should be good all around. I love to spend time with my grandparents, but not too much, so this should all work out. I also want to see my cousin who, ridiculously, I haven't seen since I first got here. She is awesome and only lives like 2 hours away. I am going to try and remedy that this weekend though.
After that it is MY BIRTHDAY!!! I am really excited to turn 20. It still seems old actually. I am going to be 20 in 20 days from now! I'm not sure that I can believe it but I'm going to celebrate it for damn sure. This birthday is going to be so much better than last year, when no one knew it was my birthday. I don't usually advertize my birthday really, but NO ONE knew until weights. It was actually funny but only after the fact. It was presents from my Mommy and Daddy along from some key phone calls from friends back home that got me through. (By the way Erin, I love you and I can't believe that I forgot it was your birthday. Amazingly I still called. I knew it was in October but I wan't sure when. I hope that you had amazing birthday nonetheless.) This year is going to be much more fun because I have good friendships here instead of early aquaintences.
Then after that I GET TO COME HOME!!! Well, not right after but still, soon enough. I miss home, I really love Seattle, especially the Mukilteo-Everett-Snohomish area. I miss it everyday. Of course I miss my family and my friends there, but I miss the area in a different, though just as potent, way. I don't mind Tulsa anymore. After it cools down here it is very liveable. My campus is pretty and the fall here is beautiful...but it just doesn't compare. I want to visit other places around the US and then in other countries but I'm not sure that I'm going to find an area that I will love more than the Pacific Northwest. I find myself missing cloundy days with a claming drizzle. As much as I complained about them after getting off the water freezing cold and soaking wet, I miss those days so much. I love the Summers so much. I don't think that there is anyplace on Earth that has more beautiful Summers than we have. I am normally home during the Summer but when I come back to Tulsa I have to experience theirs which is AWFUL. I also miss getting dressed for school and stopping on the way for a drink at the coffee stand. That always made me feel like I was older, college aged. It is funny because I went to college in a town that has a total of 4 Starbucks (which is three times less than the amount of coffee stands that I could pass on the way from my house to Kamiak.) I am thrilled to come back this year, just as much as last year. Some of my older friends say that you eventually lose the desire to come home but I don't think that I ever will. It is not just the people that I come back for, it is my home and always will be, no matter where I go.
Well, that is all of the good things going on in my life, just so I can look at the list when I get seriously pissed off at something, which will guarenteedly happen before this list of things is done. This is my positive thinking moment so that I can safely go back to being pessimestic. Well whatever happens, I have some fun things to get me through. Looking back at this it seems like I have become a bit of a drunkard, which is seriously not the case. Though I know I have called some people after a late Saturday night. Still, it is time to let go a bit. What time other than college can you be a complete dumbass and have an excuse for it. I'm a college student and I'm just beginning to love it in the way that I should, I did miss out on this in high school.
I love y'all and I should type here more often. It is really good.
BTW: This is the greatest song...of at least the month because I can't stop listening to it!!
"Come a little closer baby, I feel like laying you down
On a bed of sweet surrender, where we can work it all out
There ain’t nothin’ that love can’t fix
Girl it’s right here at our fingertips
So come a little closer baby, I feel like laying you down.
Come a little closer baby, I feel like letting go
Of every thing that came between us and the love we used to know
I want to touch you like a cleansing rain
And let it wash all the hurt away
So come a little closer baby, I feel like letting go
If there’s still a chance then take my hand and we’ll steal away
Off into the night, til we make things right
The sun’s gonna rise on a better day
Come a little closer baby, I feel like strippin’ it down
Back to the basics of you and me and what makes the world go round
Every inch of you against my skin
I wanna be stronger than we’ve ever been
So come a little closer baby, I feel like strippin’ it down
Come a little closer baby
Just a little bit closer baby
Come a little closer baby, I feel like laying you down."
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| 4 Days!!!! |
[15 Nov 2004|08:55pm] |
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excited |
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O Brother Where Art Thou |
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Oh my God! I come home in four fucking days! I am so excited, you have no idea. There are just so many things to do in the 9 days that I'll be home. I need to:
- See my family
- See my dog
- See the Polor Express with Erin
- Hang out with crew friends
- See Anna and Laura at PLU
- Go shopping at the Alderwood mall (more than once)
- Go to Starbucks (also more than once)
- Go to Seattle
- Go to the mountains
- Have the annual Thanksgiving Extravaganza
- Go to the boathouse
- And do so many other things that I can't even think of it right now.
Well...I'll see you in 4 days! I come in at 1:00 (hinthint). I love y'all and I can't wait to get back to the northwest.
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| Why isn't it December? |
[21 Sep 2004|02:12pm] |
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It's me what else |
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So today my Calculus Quiz class was cancled so right now I could be catching up on sleep or starting my English paper that is due on Thursday, but no. I can't sleep and really have no desire to do more Engilsh so here I am. College is going well, other than then fact that I have a crap load of homework to get done before Friday because we leave at 7:40 to drive to Des Moines. Can you believe it? I GET TO SLEEP IN UNTIL 7:00. I haven't done that in so long. It will be amazing I'm sure. I'm really excited about my first collegite regatta. I think I'm in two races, which will be a little weird, but I'll be fine. I'm in the second 8 right now so I need to start kicking some ass. Last week my erg scores skyrocketed to bad places, but I think (based off yesterday's scores) that I have almost gotten them back. I think that it has just been an adjustment process. There are definately girls that are stronger than I, but I just need to get back to the attitude that I had in Junior year. You might be stronger than me but I'm going to be tougher and simply fucking stubborn. Whatever! I hate erging but I can overcome it, or something like that.
So I bet you can't guess what I'm listening to right now. Well, if you said "It's Shara, does she listen to anything other than Christmas music?", then you would definately be right. I am really excited for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. First of all, I want to come home. I was never someone who just needed to get out of Mukilteo, I happen to like it there. I want to see my family, my friends, my dog, my house and I just want to be back home. It's not that I don't like it here, because I do (or am starting to damn the weather), but I will always love Seattle. I miss the rain! The soft, steady sound of it. It's not stormy or humid, it's just calm, consistant and cool. I am tired of being hot! I want to go to Alderwood mall and see the new additions. I am actually excited to go shopping, especially since I really haven't spent any money at school because of grandparents. I want to go visit random people. I am already planning on making a trip down to PLU to see Anna and Laura. Plus there are so many other people to visit. I want to see my dog because I'm really starting to doubt if he even remembers me. I have a picture of him next to my bed that my mom gave me, but I really want to see him. He is my best friend in many ways. We spent as much time together as I did as with anyone else. I am excited that Kristina is coming home from Philidelphia. I'm not going to lie, I was worried about her for a while, but I think that things will get better now that she is going to start at BU in the Spring.
Yeah, yeah back to holidays. I really love Thanksgiving (and not just because it is the beginning of Christmas). Bailee and I cook dinner because mom usually works and is sleeping. We cook and watch the parade and watch christmas movies and watch Friends Thanksgiving episodes. It is really a good time. While I would have liked spending the holiday with my KC family, I'm obviously glad I'm going home. Okay, then there is dinner. Do I have to say more? Food is the single greatest thing in the world. I have developed a new found appreciation for good food. I always ate fairly well at home, with the exception of rare junk food nights with friends, but everything here is fried. It's rediculus. I've even given up trying to eat the things that look healthy, or can be made healthily, because they are always fried. I mean the salad lettuce is white Iceberg crap. I can't wait to eat really food when I come home. Also there is the after dinner football game that normally ends up just being me and Bailee or me against everyone else. Not fun, so if you want to join in this year give me a call.
Do I even need to say that I love Christmas? Well I don't mind telling ya, I do. It is a lifetime's worth of amazingness packed into one month. And it happens every year. People are just so happy and I really love giving people gifts. I like buying things but I rarely spend money on myself (unless it is for pillows as I have five of the amazing wonder-pillows now). I love Miracle on 34th St and the Home Alones and all of the movies. The Fox Family channel 25 days of Christmas is so cool. I listen to the music all of the time but it is more special at Christmas. I was in a Christmas store a couple weeks ago with my grandparents and I got so excited. When it gets cold and everything is crisp and light and carefree. I can't wait. Luckily we have regattas and crew to make the time fly until then. I can't wait. I am in such a good mood now. A bit nostalgic but mostly just plain happy.
I have to go to weights now, but I am so glad that I skipped a nap to write this. Sleep is overreated anyway. Christmas is a feeling that you can carry with you every day. It doesn't have to make it less of a feeling. It just becomes a place to draw from when you are feeling out of sorts (You can borrow some of mine, I never use them (Friends quote)). I love the feeling and I will celebrate it as long as possible.
"Some men see things as they are and ask why, I see things that have never been and ask why not" I love this quote
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[12 Sep 2004|08:56am] |
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Tommy Boy - "Fat guy in a little coat" |
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I'm not gonna lie and I don't mind tellin' ya, I went to my first frat party last night. Now I didn't drink (sorry Anna) but I had fun. There was some dancing, male stripping, and drunken friends, what more can you ask for. One of my friends,Chelsea (one of the rowers), had her birthday yesterday, and she celebrated it by getting drunk off her ass. She was hilarious. Jackie said she was sober all night but she definately wasn't and I think Bailey had a few more than she said and was looking for more when I left. All around, it was fun. I was a little tired but I was okay by 1:00 so we're all good.
It was great to talk to everyone the other day. I'm loving rowing here, and the people, but I do really miss Everett Rowing. Everyone is really cool here and we have fun but it's not the same yet. Erin I'm sorry that I ran up your minutes but it was a really good phone call. I have been missing all of the people I talked to. It feels so great to be loved and missed. For our boathouse, in the past, that has been a rarity. Beth, Austin, Courtney, and before that Jenna, Erin Graham, Stacey, and many more that I just don't remember. The ones who came back really weren't missed. I am really pissed, but I'm not going to be able to make it for regionals! We have Dad Vail that weekend because they moved it back a week. This is crap and I hate it. I was so excited about going to the last regatta and seeing everyone and seeing my sister row. Well it sucks, but what can you do.
I also don't mind tellin' ya I'm watching Tommy Boy. "I have what doctors call a bit of a weight problem. I eat bear claws two at a time and they get lodged in this region right here." Good movie, good quotes. One of the varsity girls is hosting a pool party at her apartment today (so every one can laugh at my tan lines again) so I've got to get some more sleep. See ya.
"Richard are you watching spanktravision?"
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| Updating again |
[05 Sep 2004|09:14pm] |
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You've Got Mail (Great Chick Flick) |
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Hey All! (Or at least the few of you left)
We had the erg tests and they are still a bit of a problem. I did so much better on the 10k than the 6k. I got less than a split better on my 6k. Plus I think that I could have done so much better on the 10k but I got really dehydrated. Everett rowers, never to complain about erging in the back of the boathouse. The erg room here is so incredibly hot and stuffy and there is only one fan that doesn't circulate much air. I went out too hard on my 6k and ended up freaking out 2,000m in. On the 10k I felt strong through the first 6,000m but then my mouth was so dry that I couldn't really breathe. I erged in from of the mirror and I think that making myself see determinaton in my own eyes helped. That and I was thinking Corrie's polar bear thing and Matt’s don’t steal my cookie thing all the way through. I didn’t go out too hard but I still attacked it. I think that the dehydration thing was kind of mental thing too, but I'm working on it. I just need to drink more water than I ever did in Washington. It is so hot here!
I am really getting along with all of the girls. The recruits are from all over, except from Tulsa. There are four from the lakes area (Wisconsin, Chicago, Detroit), two from Austin, one from England, my roommate from Virginia, four from California, two girls from Brentwood, Jackie and I. We more than doubled the existing team. Kevin really did his job in the off-season. For the fall we are all rowing with the Varsity. I think, though, that for the Spring we will move to novice, once the walk-ons get the hang of it. Morning practices are difficult, but I'm beginning to appreciate them. You can get so much more out of your day that way. Plus practicing in this weather in the afternoon would be awful! We are not going to get to the Head of the Lake this year, but Kevin has talked about it with me. The team is going to the Charles instead. I really want to be in the boat but there will be competition. It makes for a much better team though.
My classes are classes. I'm really getting into English. It is mostly a discussion based class, which I thrive in. What can I say, I like to talk a lot. I'm partial to pop culture references. The rest of my class doesn't like to talk as much and it gets a discussion going easier. I also like Chemistry. I have always liked Chemistry and it is nothing new but this teacher really loves to teach Chemistry and it really shows. He is just so excited when he is lecturing. My other classes are boring. I have slept through most of them. I really don’t like my Calculus class and Anthropology is a bit of a bore. I have only been to two classes, though, so it could get better. Plus, now that I finally have my books I might be able to follow along better.
I still feel so attached to the team. I don't know if it is you coaches, my friends, or the time, blood, sweat, and tears that I have given to Everett Rowing but it will always be my team. We haven't had any regattas yet or anything but I still don't think of Tulsa as my team. I think that I will but not yet. I know that this time will probably be some of the best times of my life, but I have not yet actually bled or cried for this team. I like all of the girls, but I have yet to really bond with them. Our team has always been so close. Most of the crew people are my best friends. Maybe I just don’t remember the first year or so of crew because I was really not close to anyone one then but Anna. It is still weird not to have that closeness though. I know it's still the first month but...grrr. Also there is the novice/freshman thing. We recently had a problem with the Varsity girls. We do the "1, 2, 3, Tulsa" thing after every practice. The other day one of the freshman girls counted down. She asked beforehand and there was no objection at the time but later the captain wrote the entire team an email basically saying that we have not rowed in a full season and therefor are not worthy of counting down practice. I am torn on the issue because I kind of understand where she is coming from. We didn’t really have many traditions but when the novice came up and started acting like they knew it all then I got upset. That was the problem with Kim, and Liz before her, and I believe that it will be the same with Ashley, though I could be wrong. I didn't necessarily have problems with them personally but there were problems with them with the team in general But getting back to the point, I think that there is another side to this. We are not novice. Almost all of us have put in just as much time as most of the Varsity girls into the sport of rowing. Most of them were walk-ons so they have put in more time at Tulsa but into the sport. I always bought into Matt’s rowing appreciation speeches. I love this sport. I can see myself doing it until I’m old and gray and after, at least until the arthritis gets too bad. It is so beautiful and relaxing while being viscous and brutal. I don’t have a clue what I want to be "when I grow up" but I know I want to row. I don’t really see myself coaching either, because I don’t have the patience, but I will row. I think I’m rambling/venting now but...oh well. I just really hope that I will be back for Regionals.
I am at my grandparents house for the Labor Day weekend. They live in southern Missouri. It is nice to be able to get away from school sometimes. It’s fun but it does get tiring. I have taken to sleeping away my Saturdays, but that’s what they’re for right. It’s nice to have family so close. Especially since I hardly ever saw my grandparents when I lived in Seattle. It is really not the same though. I miss my Mom, Dad, and Bailee. I miss my friends, the weather, the views, the river, and just Seattle in general. It's not all that bad but there are times when I really miss everything and I just need a hug. But, like I said, It's not all bad.
I will be back for Thanksgiving. We get a week and a half off so I coming home then and then also for Christmas. I hope to see everyone when I get back. Most of my friends are still in (or near) Seattle/Everett/Mukilteo. I want to make plans with everyone (Polar Express Erin! We need to find out when it opens). I love you all still and I do miss you but I will see you soon
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| Update from TU |
[27 Aug 2004|08:21pm] |
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exhausted |
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My entire playlist on shuffle |
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College is great. I’m not one to abuse the excessive freedom so that isn’t a big difference, but I can nap in the afternoons and I always have something that I can do. But it is fucking HOT here!!! Hot and humid and I’m not liking that. But the school is good so I guess I’ll get over it.
My classes aren’t that difficult but it is just the first week so... who knows.
Crew has already encompassed my life far more than it ever did in high school. Maybe it’s because I’m living with these people or it’s waking up at 4:30 to go to practice but crew is more important now than it ever was. I am as sore and exhausted as I ever was after the first week of practice, but I’m doing well. We’ve had to do tests and we have to earn points to get on the traveling squad. So far we’ve done the 1.5 mile run, wall sits, plank, push-ups, and bench pulls and I have gotten full points or better on all of the tests (even the run). Only the two ergs (6k and 10k) and the stadium runs are left which are the ones I am worried about. Not because of points because I already have all I need but because those tests are what are going to test me the most. The first two are all mental. I have no doubt that I can physically pull 2:14's on the 10k and 2: 09's on the 6k but I am still out of the game mentally. Once I see those numbers on the screen for a while I start to think that the should go up and then they do. I will spend the rest of the night convincing myself that I should be over this and that it’s all in my head, but it’s been so long since I really pulled with reckless abandon throughout an entire erg piece. I don’t know if the competition will stimulate me or if I just need something to inspire me but I don’t want to lose any ground here. Also there are the stadiums. I think that I have come a long way from struggling up that hill last winter, but I haven’t tested myself. I’m unsure but I’m just going to try and power through it. I really don’t know what I’m doing, I’m just king of winging it.
What I do know is that I want to work my ass off to be in one of the spots that are going to the Charles. They’re sending a novice four so at least those spots will be for freshmen. I really shouldn’t be thinking of that right now. 6k tomorrow, but I get to sleep in because practice isn’t until 7am. I will keep you updated as to what is going on. It is still weird having a new coach, but I’m adjusting to Kevin and Rosemary easily.
I’m really happy about being on a building team again. It was such a good feeling to know that I had been a part of turning around the club that was mediocre when I started. I was in the boat the gave the Everett women their first regional championship in an 8+. Plus I was at both Nationals. I really want to do that again.
I’m really tired so I’m going to sleep now. I miss you all. Love you.
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| I will miss you |
[15 Aug 2004|08:39pm] |
I know that there are not many people that read this but...oh well. I already left Anna a message so the only person that I think might read this is Erin. So...Erin...hi. How're doing? I'm at my grandparent's right now but I'm moving in tomorrow. I'm kind of nervous to meet my new roommate but I suppose that is to be expected. I swear that we cleaned out Target yesterday so I now actually have some things to move into my dorm. It was sad that my stuff didn't even take up half of the back of the van. I will try to call once I get settled and I will try to update my livejournal. Erin, Anna and anyone else who is bored enough to be reading this I love you a lot and I will miss you so much.
Love you,
Shara
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| Rainbow Chip Frosting |
[20 May 2004|02:00pm] |
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I Love the Way You Love Me - John Michael Montgomery |
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I just got on and realized that it has been forever since I have updated this damn thing. It is really strange because I have been extra emotional this past week.
First off there was Regionals. For many reasons the Varsity 8+ finishing third hit me much harder than when I finished third. In my boat we just had a bad race. Off the warm up things were rocky and they were never fixed. I love Soup but she is just not experianced enough yet to feel what is happening in the boat and if she does then she wont say the things she needs to. That is one of the things I miss from last year but I'll get into that later. The Varsity had a good race (for this season) and it just wasn't good enough. After the race, everyone was talking about what they could have done differently...well almost everyone which is actually what pissed me off. I know you shouldn't stew over losses but hell I was wondering what I could have done earlier in the year to make that boat faster and there were some people that didn't really seem to care all that much. This may have been just my impression but it seemed that a few people were saying I pulled hard...oh well. Meanwhile I was berating myself for letting Matt down by not being the leader that the team and that boat needed earlier this year. He said it to me last fall and I basically ignored what he said for all intents and purposes. I screwed myself over by not being entirely fit at the beginning of the season. I threw myself into it like he wanted but without the fitness behind it I broke down, as was witnessed. That is the root of my regrets from this year and it is definately a mistake I do not want to make again. I think though that over the course of the season I became the leader he wanted but it was too late because by that time I was not in the position to lead that boat.
Something that I didn't notice until Regionals is how much I missed and appreciate Jenny. Maybe I have never noticed any of the problems towards her because I feel that way. I definately went throungh the racing of this season a bit too lackadasical. I was almost always pissed off at myself after races because I never felt that I was pulling as hard as I used to. After the four I know that that is because of Jenny. There is just something inspiring about a cox'n that is barely able to whisper coming up to the line but puts everything into yelling at you throughout the race. For some reason she just makes me want to pull harder. When we were practicing, I would always try to pick Jenny's voice out over Soup's and listen to it. I guess I just associate her voice with confidenece and authority and both things are very comforting and inspiring during a race. It's like yeah I know that I'm dying but Jenny just told me personally to take a ten so dammit I'm going to do it. I only hope that I'm going to have a cox'n at Tulsa that I will be able to have that much faith in.
But now it's done. Crew is over and Monday I left my last "real" practice at the boat house. I definately would have cried if not for the funness of the throwing in. It was a good way to end the year. Some of the first year seniors were lamenting but I don't think that they really understand. I am one of the few senoirs who have put everything that they had down at the boathouse. Kelly, Lisha, Megan and I (and I suppose Allie) out of all the people in that picture we took, are really the only girls who will really feel like a chunk of their life is missing. We have spent the last three or four years completely immersed in this sport that takes up so much of our lives and now we just don't have it. I know there is college but, for awhile at least and maybe never, it wont be the same.
Well at least it was a long one (but not as long as Alex's). Everything's been feeling a little heavy lately and it is always good to unload a bit. On a lighter note, I can't wait for Troy. I loved the story and then there are Brad and Orlando who just make any movie better. Also crew people too but they are not as important as the rainbow chip frosting.
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| I have definately become too consumed with television |
[02 May 2004|12:29am] |
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the live hindu band from next door |
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Does it seem sad to anyone else that I believe that I will be balling my eyes out over the Friends finale. No, wait, don't answer that because I already own the first 7 seasons and I don't think that it can get much worse. I will be crying though if anyone wanted to know. "It's like the end of an era!" So many quotes, so little time.
Saw Love Actually (finally because no one would wait to see it with me) and I absolutely loved it. Gushy love scenes, HOT accents, attractive people, lots of swearing, and of course the naked people who pretend to have sex while talking about the morning commute. Bloody brilliant. It really makes me want to be moving somewhere more exotic than Oklahoma. But whatever, it made me happy. It is of course fake, vicarious happiness but a good feeling none the less. Damn it's a good thing that I don't do drugs. Oh well...
On a more distracting note, my Hindu next door neighbors are having a wedding tomorrow. This means that last night and tonight there are parties, lots of cars and loud music. Seriously, it's almost 1am and it's still loud enough to occasionally make my desk vibrate. Plus there are cars practicly blocking my driveway and lining the street. Getting around today took some skillful manuvering, I don't mind telling ya.
Oh well there is my rant. And although I whine too much and normally without reason, I enjoy it too much to give it up. So I'll keep on typing...but later.
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| Squash Courts |
[25 Apr 2004|10:04pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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music |
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My own deep thoughts |
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I probably should be doing Calculus or Euro, or God even sleeping, but I'm still a bit wired from the weekend. There were some high points, some low points, and some pissed off points but over all I was pleased with my last Brentwood.
Brentwood is probably my favorite regatta, set-up wise, simply because of the squash courts. Fine, the race conditions are never good, my "bed" was a bit uncomfortable, and I definately didn't shower, but I love it. First of all, you can go and sleep whenever you want. It's not like other regattas where you are stuck outside in the often cold and wet. You can snuggle in your warm blankets, on someone else's blow-up mattress, and often with half the team. As much time as we spend together we're often so focused or stressed or whatever to really talk. I spent so much time with so many people that I really feel closer to certian people. I spent time with my boat, especially Kathrine who I love by the way, she is so sweet and interesting to talk with. I spent a large amount of time with Kelsey and Sassy and I am very glad that I did. A lot of very non-sexual bondage was had and I got to know them both much better. Adrianne is very funny as we have all learned but I didn't know that Kelsey was hilarious as well. I spent some time with Allie, mostly eating but the dips were really good. I also go to spend some time with the guys. It's not that I don't like our guys, it is just that I don't choose to go out of my way to see them. But it was nice to just hang out with the guys. The guy's strait hair was wonderful especially Dave's. The braids were amazing.
I also think that I got to spend enough time by myself. I definately had some hard times when the V girls raced. I don't know why this race was so much harder than the others this season, maybe it was past Bretwood memories or me getting oars and shoes or what Matt said to me before their race, but I was definately upset so I went on the rocks by the finish wishing that I had brought my sunglasses. I do completely trust Matt and I know that he is more knowledgeable than me, (I finally know enough to know that I know very little) but it is so hard to watch from the shore and to not be able to do anything. Especially when a boat that I have so much invested into is losing. I'm not sure if this is what the coaches feel or not but damn. So, not to be too dramatic, after the race I went back to my sleeping bag and cried my self to sleep.
It was not all bad though. I was so proud of our JV boat. Because of the situation, the win didn't effect me as much as the V's loss did, but it was definately what I needed. We got our gold medals, which I am wearing right now, and we showed what we could accomplish. We did more than just win, we raced the way that we wanted to race. It was a wonderful feeling.
All and all Brentwood was good. It really hasn't struck me yet that it's almost the end and I don't know when it will. I'm really not sad (about that) yet at all, even though we keep talking about the end.
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| Too Many Questions!!!!!!!!!! |
[16 Apr 2004|06:09am] |
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mood |
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awake |
] |
I suppose I should give in.
I would like everyone who reads my livejournal to ask me three questions. (no more, no less.) ask me anything. then, copy & paste this into one of your own livejournal entries & allow your friends (including myself) to ask you questions.
Off to morning practice. Yea....uh. Waking up early is happy however. Pave today!
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| "Does anybody know what time it is...Does anybody really care" |
[15 Apr 2004|07:42pm] |
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mood |
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morose |
] |
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music |
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Miss Misery - Elliot Smith |
] |
After my day of being pissed off, upset, and tired, I have settled out into calm but confused. I just really don't know what I have to do. I don't know what he wants me to do. Apparently I do not seat race well because I always end up losing them (so does Megan though so I don't get that). Every time he puts me in the Varsity 8+ he tells me it rows well with me in it but then the next day I'm in JV. I've tried to talk to him and he tells me what I need to work on, then I do and he says I'm doing better then...nothing. I am not one of the people that hates Matt but I just don't know what it is tht he needs me to do. One day he tells me that the boat rows most like a varsity boat when I'm in it but then the next...I don't know. I'm just really confused and I'm starting to stress out about it, which was my problem earlier in the season. I don't mind being in JV if I'm rowing like a JV athlete, which I was earlier in the season, but he is telling me otherwise and then sticking me in JV. I had hoped that the time in the morning would help, and maybe it has but even though Matt says I'm doing what he wants and that I am making changes I don't go anywhere. I don't want to bottle things up because it turned out so badly last time but thinking about it makes me upset and I don't really want that either. All I really want is some answers.
Aside from that I really have been left with a hollow feeling from this Spring Break. I had so much stuff to do over my break and I have done nothing. I haven't cleaned anything, my HUGE pile of homework is undone, and I haven't even seen anyone outside of crew. It's just BLAH! Plus with AP tests around the bend (so not prepared for Calculus) I know that the next couple of weeks are going to be packed.
I did, however, download some Elliot Smith last week per Erin's accolades (right word?) and I found that I really liked it, which suprised me so I'm listening to it now.
I really just want to go to sleep for a couple of days but that will only make things worse so instead I will go do the dishes so my Mom wont completely flip out when she gets home.
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[11 Apr 2004|10:43am] |
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mood |
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 calm |
] |
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music |
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Royal's game |
] |
All and all, Dexter weekend was quite fun. Despite people complaining about the sleeping conditions, which were horrible, not much else went wrong. Good morning practice, for us anyway, we were together and rowing. We have been able to get that a few times but not consistantly. Then the ride down, would have been long and boring but we made some strategic phone calls to Corrie McGrath's cell phone. "I Just Called to Say I Love You" it was sung and loudly. We did it a couple more times but then the fun was ruined and I really didn't want to do it anymore.
Beautiful things were the weather and the racing. It was hot! I am willing to bet that it reached 80 degrees and it was wonderful. I got a little sunburnt but it was definately worth it. Hung out with the two Kendra's and Sharon a lot which was nice. I love Kenny, she is just so tiny, Kendra was feeling more, if not completely positive, and Sharon has an awful name but I'm willing to forgive it. The racing went so well. I was pissed at how some of the people in my boat handle themselves before and after the race, but the race itself was good. I was very proud of the start and the finish because I got it up high like Matt asked. I really do like stroking, even though I'm more comfortable in seat 2. But overall I was very proud of what we were able to do as a team.
Next week is going to be great. Spring break!!! Excited about that and about seat racing. Not usually excited about seat racing but now I definately am. I don't think that Kiser will be that much competetion simply because she doesn't want it that much. I plan on getting a lot of things done and I hope the weather stays nice.
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| 6:53.5 |
[05 Apr 2004|09:47pm] |
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mood |
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 bouncy |
] |
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music |
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Tim McGraw - Everywhere |
] |
I am so proud of the JV boat. I really cannot believe what happened on Saturday. For all who don't know, the JV 8 was the only girls event to win Saturday. Not only that but we beat our varsity girl's time by a second. When I watched the race go through I wanted to beat the Baker varsity but I never really thought that we could beat ours. Granted, we had a tail wind that they didn't but it is a huge victory for us. The JV 8 is really a hodgepodge (Matt's word) of different people thrown together. There were lights, people that, by erg scores, should be in the varsity boat, and then there are JV caliber rowers and those on the cusp of the 3V. Everything is mixed up and we did not even get to practice the lineup we raced. Matt even admitted that it would be hard to get together and match, a thing that we have been having problems with. We got no coacing from Matt the day before (we were thrown in with Patty and the lights), we got no real pre-race speach, and Matt still hasn't talked to our boat about the race, but dammit, we kicked ass. 6:53.5, not too shabby. Since the regatta doesn't give out anything, Soup made us each our own personalized ribbon and I love it. She is so sweet and was really good on Saturday. I only wish she would not space out at practice. It is even more difficult to catch up when she starts us out behind.
Tim McGraw is coming to the gorge in July and I really want to go. Now I just have to find some people to go with. I know some people who are going but no one I'm close with.
I definately passed Baby Doll on the road up towards Marysville after crew today. It was funny but I don't know why. What ever happened to her anyway? She was just not there one day and it was weird.
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| Blackmail worthy |
[04 Apr 2004|08:25am] |
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Lenny's pictures are up on the greenlake site and damn! There are some good/bad ass photos but then there are some that are not so hot. Erin, I would definately check this out because they are FUNNY. A lot of the Varsity boat, some not so technicaly sound. I should sit up because I look even shorter when I don't. Lengthen...lengthen, that could be my motto.
Boo! I have 6 calculus assignments to do today so that I can take the test tomorrow. Pretty sure that I'm going to fail. Wish me a high D (which will probably curve to a B or B+)!
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| Recipe to feeling better |
[03 Apr 2004|11:53pm] |
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mood |
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rejuvenated |
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music |
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Keith Urban - Think of Me (in my head) |
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When you are feeling upset. Do the following.
- Wake up really early and have oatmeal, this makes you very inergetic
- Wear your unisuit ("It feels free, like you're naked" - Summer)
- Go fast and win your race
- Have wonderful weather and get less pasty
- Hang out with Anna
- Eating a very small amount of ice cream and having literally four and a half love it size cups left. I love Kendra!
- Watch a very good chick flick (Prince and Me worked fine)
Yup, that should about do it. Also I know that I only have like five lj friends but you, with the exception of Alex, are wonderful. Everything is okay and I'm feeling absolutely bouyant.
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[03 Apr 2004|07:04pm] |
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[02 Apr 2004|07:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 infuriated |
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music |
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GRRR!!!! |
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CREW!!!!
I love it, really I do, but right now everything is just pissing me off. In fact the only thing that's not pissing me off right now is the fact that I'm in the JV boat. Quite honestly the ONLY thing! I know that the last couple weeks I wasn't feeling well and I digressed in my rowing and I deserve to be in the JV boat, not that it is a punishment, but that is the way I was rowing. I know that in the next week I'm going to have a chance to prove myself if I just get my shit together, which I can, but now I'm not sure how much I really want the varsity boat. I do know that even WHEN I do get back into the varsity boat I will never feel the same way about it again. There is so much shit that goes on with the attitudes of the varsity boat that just doesn't happen anywhere else, even between the A and B lightweight boats. No other boat, not even the boys worry about establishing dominance. There is no dominance, we are a fucking team. From the varsity girls to the novice guys we are a team. That means we work together, help each other out, be fucking courteous. I know I complain about my novice, but as experienced rowers are job is to build the team, to make the novices feel welcome not intimidated. We can intimidate other teams but why the hell do *we* feel like we have to establish dominance over our other team members. It is complete crap and I hate seeing it. Not even just over the novice but over other varsity rowers. It is infuriating, sad, and will inevitably pull the team apart. I am definately not the only one who feels this but for some reason it is never said and I'm not sure that I have the guts to but I hope that I can find them. Even when I get back into the boat I'm going to have to kick someone out and I have a pretty good idea who. I don't want to do this, I don't want to kick anyone out but it will have to be done. I also know that it will be met with some resistance and when the time comes I'm sure that that will piss me off too.
I just have to say that I love Adrienne Mecham. She is a really cool person, little too quiet though. She has been one of the very few people to, in my mind, escape the crap. Don't get me wrong, I love everyone in that boat, EVERYONE, but I am mad a bout a whole lot of things too.
BOO! GRR! Sorry, I just had to vent. I've been keeping this stuff mostly to myself and this is a fairly good venue. I know that this is a bit egocentric, which is something that I've noticed that I do when I talk and I need to work on that, but right now, it's my journal dammit.
Erin, since you are the only one who will probably read this from crew, I love you!
Positives
- Laura is such a good friend and I'm so glad that I get to spend so much time with her.
- I got to see, and sneak out of class, Kristina today. Terriaki Fun!
- Smoothies are wonderful
- Get to have cake because of Bailee's birthday
- New flip flops that I'm planning on buying
- Tax refunds
- Suprisingly, to me anyway, crew.
A lot of bitching but I think that I have gotten it out of my system and I feel much better now. Gotta go to sleep so that I can get up at five tomorrow. Thinking winning thoughts.
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| Bright, bright Sunshiny day |
[30 Mar 2004|06:53am] |
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Yesterday was the most perfect of all days, weather wise. An unbelievable eighty with a nice warm breeze, beautiful and amazing. On other fronts it was okay but I couldn't quite enjoy the perfect weather. I was tired because I had stayed up until midnight finishing a paper (which I did last night too except substitute the paper for Runaway Jury). The biggest problem was that Laura was in Eastern Washington on a golf trip. She is such an intregral part of my day that I was just kind of sad and lonely sitting in the five of my classes I have with her. We also sit next to each other in four of those classes so it was just a constant reminder and I hated it. It is okay though because she is back today and tomorrow I think that we are going to skip the elongated sixth period and get smoothies. Yea! Here's hoping for wonderful weather this weekend.
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